This hilarious rulebook is full of dos and don'ts for musicians, wannabe musicians, and rock fans of all ages. Here's what The Rock Bible has to say about:
Singers: "When you feel like stage-diving, make sure the people in the front row like your music enough to catch you."
Backstage antics: "Couches at rock clubs have never been cleaned. Think of the crazy things that have been done on these couches, and then proceed at great personal risk."
Lifestyle: "If you want to die while in a famous rock band, there are four options. 1. Suicide. 2. Car or plane crash. 3. Drug overdose. 4. Murdered by a crazy relative. Just pick one and stick with it."
Complete with faux-biblical illustrations and parables and essays from comedian Patton Oswalt, drummer Brian Teasley, and professional smartass Andrew Earles, The Rock Bible is a rude and raunchy look at the best and worst of rock 'n' roll.
'...every single sentence in it is 100 percent dead-on. ... If somebody followed every dictate in this book to the letter when forming their band or being a guy into music, odds are probably about 4 to 1 they might turn out pretty decent.' -Leroy Gumption, VICE Magazine
Grammy Award winner HENRY OWINGS is the publisher of Chunklet magazine, a no-holds-barred chronicle of the music industry. At various times a DJ, promoter, record producer, and booking agent, Owings has toured with rock bands for nearly a decade.